Ah — the English language
What a marvelous invention
One can allude to goodly deeds
Without harboring any good intentions
Why, one can speak in golden tones
Brag about the good they’ll do
It is only words, you know
There is no follow through
It’s all in how turn a phrase
The spin they put to it
The banker mouths such niceties
But the loan, will he renew it?
The little white lies that each of us use
We say”to keep the peace”
Hang onto your wallets, guys and gals
Dulcet tones precede a fleece.
The Liars Club needs no member drive
They can fill their roster easy
Just listen to the folks down in D.C.
Why, every one of them is cheesy.
Prevarication is a special art
I wonder, is it taught in political school
There may be no formal class
But our reps steer wide of the truth
This seems to be THEIR GOLDEN RULE.
RETROSPECTIVE INTROSPECTIVE — See Also REFLECTIVE
Winter’s thoughts should be
Sort of “I wish I’d done”
“I’m glad I did”
“I should have done”
“What was I going to do?”
Are the thoughts that come rushing
But 1998, at the very end
Gave very little reason
To mull things over
It was much to mild a season.
To conjure up your inner self
Is best done deep in a storm
Then when the weather breaks
Everything’s back to norm.
S0 — unless 1999
Can work itself up some snow
What I intended to mull over
I guess I’ll never know.
Some scientists went out to sea
To farm in the water, Yessiree
To create sustenance for you and me.
But now they’re stumped
As the water they plows
For they’ve disturbed the flounder
Oh yes, and how!
You see the flounder
Gets sea sick quite easily
If the sea is rough and stuff?
He can feel extra queasily.
A flounder is a bottom fish
He lies there in the deep
So, please, water farmers
Do not disturb a flounder as he sleeps.
Soon it will be Christmas
Are you preparing for it yet?
Yard sales and auctions
Such nice bargains one can get.
There was a new teapot for a quarter
A used bike for a wee bit more
And once I found a violin
If only I could play the score
Sometimes you find a collectible
A cup or plate or dish
I was so very stupified
When I once was offered one live fish.
There are slacks and shoes and gloves
Laid out upon the lawns
Upon a side street yesterday
I saw a couple of plaster fawns
But the best view I had of all
When driving around my town
Was a wedding dress a fluttering
A lovely wedding gown.
I inquired what went with it
Imagine my surprise
When the lady selling the thing
Told me clearly — and with dry eyes –
“Why, you can have it all
The dress, the shoes, the veil
I’ll even throw in, for one more buck
The bouquet and the male.
I backed away quite quickly
A groom — not what I sought
Instead I took the teapot
And was glad for what I bought.
A new “GOLD” dollar will be coined
Tn this year of 2000, so I’m told
Of course, there’ll be no ‘gold’ in it
Here is how the story does unfold
If will bigger than the last
The Susan B. Anthony one
The one we all thought was a quarter
After the minting was all done.
No – this dollar will be bigger
And painted with 14K GOLDEN PAINT
A wide smooth edge will make it unique
The joy of it all makes me quite faint.
Sacagawea, fine Indian maiden
Will grace the front of same
If her friends could see her now
Would they be proud or would they
Kay could mend with both hands
For her it was easy as sin
She could sew with her left hand or her rightDepending on where she’d began
In that far off year of ’99 at Christmas
She called Santa Claus on the phone
She called him at his workshop
But finally reached him at his home
“Santa, dear Santa, oh please,
might I have 2 thimbles, that’s all”
Santa made a note of her wish
And politely thanked her for her call
And on Christmas morning so early
As the sun brightened Christmas Day
Kay read the note that Santa left
“Here is what you wanted, but I really have to know
Why 2 Kay?
It’s beginning to look a lot like yesterday
Politics rearing its head
It’s beginning to look like yesterday
Just when I thought the feuds were dead.
But what do I see in the paper
headlines big and bold
Florio quits and Torrey is fired
Like in the days of old.
Just as I thought I’d catch my breath
One more headline roared
“Lowenstein dumped by HDC”
At least we won’t get bored
Who will it be tomorrow
Should one wager a bet
Pushing and shoving, etc., my friends
Is this as good as it gets?
The alphabet agencies do it again
Will progress scream to a halt?
People are human and humans are people
All of us have our faults.
So as long as summer is here
They might as well heat up the floor
So we get blistered in our own back yards
And never need to go to the shore.