Why does a black bear cross the road?

Why does a black bear cross the road?
To get to the other side
But down in North Carolina there is a war
Between motorists & bears, I must confide

Who gets the right of way
Is a bear decides to cross
The bears are quite persuasive
So motorist, you lose the toss

But some one there in all their wisdom
Ahs found a solution to please all
They’ve built tunnels for the bears
Next, will they build them their own shopping malls?


Your adventure to Mohonk arrived today

Your adventure to Mohonk arrived today
And the limo driver’s a Saint did you say?
But the fun was awaiting at your dor
Once our John arrived evened the score!

A great singer laid to rest? Who else was desposed
Before this ponderous mystery came to its close
Found by sleuthers hounding their backs
I must know who done it!
Don’t tease me so!
The butcher? The baker? The candlestick maker?
Darn—Who was that insidious raker?

But discover the culprit you did
As you tucker in your bib
While eating sumptuous goodies and drinking your tea,
A mystery unraveled by just you three
Now I see!

Gibbon, Minnesota

Gibbon, Minnesota
The name strikes fear in my mind
Gibbon, Minnesota
If you’re unaware like me. You too are far behind

For Gibbon, Minnesota
Is the Polka capital, did you know?
I didn’t know we needed one
Is it a place you’d wish to go?

They boast of 10,000 square feet
Of pristine hardwood floor
It works out to be about 14’ per person
If you know the population score

Every polka I’ve ever heard
Sound just like the one before
And usually when I hear one
I scurry for the door

For I am not a polka dancer
Cannot do the “um pa pa”
I leave that to those you can
Which includes Pa and Ma

Yet, I have to give them credit
They dance the whole night through
And get up at dawn the very next day
For there are chores to do

The year 2000

The year 2000
Draws rapidly near
But the year just before
Has some folks also in fear

In our profession
Where insurance is written
We now hear that the #’s 9-9-1990
Ain’t really fitten

It seems, we hear
That that # sequence
Is insurance code
For many events

What they are
Do not ask us
Just remember the year
When you hear us fuss

So maybe it’s wiser
While still in our prime
To date everything 2001
Just disregard time

If I get connected

If I get connected
To the internet
What in the world would I get?

More screens to see
And words to read
More information
Than I will ever need

Already my mind
Is so jammed with stuff
At least, twice I day
I shout enough

So maybe the internet
Just isn’t for me
But I keep getting offers
To try it for free

It’s sort of like
A bargain sale
If I’ve no use for the product
Then the pitch will fail

Here’s to the Ladies

Here’s to the ladies
Here’s to them all
In business or here at home
Or gathered in a hall

“I am woman
hear me roar.”
We are doing it friends
Changing the score

We are educating ourselves
Leaving off the regret
Standing on our own feet
It’s the best time yet

And one of these days
Please, mark my word
We’ll be paid in real dollars
And our wisdom will be heard

Why, the market place
Won’t be the same
We’ll gentle it to heights
It will be “our” game

So, here’s to the ladies
Here’s to them all
Roar right out loud
We’re making the call

T-shirts by the dozen

T-shirts by the dozen
T-shirts by the score
We were so excited
When we finally received our four

But now we have a problem
A little one, but still
We need just one more T-shirt
Then we will have our fill

For you sent one to Patty
One for Kathy, Juanita and for me
But the dummy in our window
Is still naked as can be

So please, can you find
Just one more shirt somewhere
One so our window bummy
Won’t embarrass us by being bare!