Christmas is funny

Christmas is funny
Often it is fun
Other times it is sad
Like if you’re a son of gun

And the holidays can change
From one year to the next
And the meanings are different
For each and every sex

But one thing I know
And I’m happy to share
Christmas is a time
When most everyone cares
Even that ole b….

So give her a smile
Give the old man a grin
And celebrate the holidays
With a stout cup of gin


Did you have a nice holiday?

Okay now it’s over
The meal was really fine
And, yes, it may be true
That you drank too much wine

The turkey was so scrumptious
The creamed onions hit the spot
Not to worry I tell you, darlin’

The pies were lined up
Like soldiers in a row
I ate a bit of each of them
I simply could not say no

And what did you do
If I may be so bold?
Did you have a nice holiday
I’d surely like to be told.

The lights are glistening

The lights are glistening
They shine everywhere
As I drive along the thoroughfare
It is tough not to stare

There are the white and the blue
The red and the green
There are the one or two houses
With no lights in between

There are reindeer on lawns
And up on roofs
I wonder if the children
Still listen for the hoofs

I love the lights
The decorations and things
The older I get
The more spirit it brings

Have you noticed?

It’s the beginning to look at lot
Like Christmas
Have you noticed?
There are trees here and there
Sticky cotton clouds in our hair
Anticipation lopes about, don’t you see?
I wish I were a kid again
Filled with that energy again
So I could feel that same sort of thrill
What would it take?
Just for a month of that spirit
Would any of us be able to afford that bill?
It’s hard to say – Have we in us to play
All those Holiday games once more?
I think I will pass
Sorta rest on my A..
Then let Santa surprise me as he wants
What are you doing?

Well Now We’ve Eaten Our Grub

Well now we’ve eaten our grub
It continues to rub
Right at the front of our stomachs
It was fun while it lasted
But now all wish they had fasted
The holidays are such trying days
They wear us mightly out
We eat and we drink
We party and shout
Then we collapse and whine like a dog
Not on your life and no way
They might kill us
They still quite thrill us
And that is enough to say

And Santa asked “ Y 2 k?”

Kay could mend with both hands
For her it was easy as sin
She could sew with her left or right hand
Depending on where she’d begin

In the year 99’ at Christmas
She called Santa Claus on the phone
But she called him at his workshop
But finally reached him at home

“Santa, dear Santa, oh please
“Might I have two thimbles, that’s all”
Santa made a note of her wish
And politely thanked her for her call

And on Christmas morning
As the sun brightened her Christmas day
She opened her present of two thimbles- it had a note
And Santa asked “ Y 2 k?