A Sad Advertisement

In my reading this past week
I saw and ad that leaves me sad
South Bay Leather — closing down
This makes me feel so bad.

Why, South Bay Leather was a landmark
At least to me has been
Suzannah’s smiling face
Is tantamount to a grin.

Good luck to you, Sue
Best wishes for what comes next
I hope it is not wrestling
With some Tyrannous Rex!
(You know you are leaving me
Sadly vexed.)

February 1999


Our Irene Was Busy

Our Irene was busy
Had much, very much to do
She dressed so very healthy
Put on her snazziest shoes

She stepped out to her garage
To take out her nice clean car
But a stone was lurking there
So Irene got less than far.

She turned her ankle slightly
Almost took a fall
Corrected herself quickly
And drove away to make her calls.

All morning she was busy
So many tasks she had
At last to the beauty parlor
Where to SIT made her glad.

She noticed, incidentally

That her ankle grew rather large
No time to dilly dally
Her optimism
Did take charge.

Then as she rose to leave
Her hair looking mighty fine
She had to sit back down again
And count to 10 or 9.

“Oh my word,” Irene said
“I’ve a problem, I think”
Her ankle was all swelled up
She wasn’t in the pink.

And now, to tell the truth
A  bone is broken there
So Irene wears a “ski boot”
And must be cautious on the stair.

Today she told me
The swellings going down
A month or so, she assures me
She’ll be out on the town.

The Polar Bear Club

The Polar Bear Club
Will come to order now
WHERE are you guys?
Come on now.

The air is brisk
The snow – a mess
But Polar Bears
Just love it, I guess

I sure am glad
I’m not one of those
For, with my luck
My nose would be froze.

I like the sun
The warm spring breeze
And flowering shrubs
Even tho’ I sneeze.

But I do not like
The snow and the cold
Never did like them
Even before I grew cold.

Response to a FROG story I read lately

What if the Princess had said
“I think not
Already I do all the work
And what in the heck have I got?”

“No, I think not”
The Princess demurred
“Instead, I’ll get my degree”
She made sure ole Princey heard.

“Why, with my degree
I’ll be able to decree
Exactly the punishment
For the sexists, you see.”

Then an idea,
Decidedly bright
Hit the Princess on the head
She acted upon it that very night.

She called up her buddy
Sweet Rapunzel with the hair
Even called Sleeping Beauty
Who was off sleeping somewhere.

“Ladies, ladies,
Listen up, if you please
The time is right now for us
The wonderful power to seize”

The girls grew excited
Could hardly wait to begin
They took out their skillets
Set them to SIZZLING

“Bring on the frogs
Bring them here somehow
Frog legs are delicious
Let’s fry some now.”

So before the could become Princes
Those froggies were devoured quick
Just because a Princess said,
“Not – Never -No way”
Is what I think.

When Utah Teams Used to Play

When Utah teams
Used to play
The Colorado girls
Were left in their shadow.

‘Cause those Mormon cheerleaders
So bubbly and perky
Put our Colorado girls to shame
Made them look a wee bit jerky.

You see, the Mormon girls
Smoked not, nor did they imbibe
But they sure as hell cheered
And cheered loudly for their side.

Later on we heard
They had a vice or two
They could’ve tutored Paula
And yes, tutored Monica too.

Where did they learn
Their sinful ways
Was it from the I.O.C
Well — really, who could say?

February 1999