How Does One Survive

How does one survive
In the land of six month nights
If it is gray-2 days or 3
I feel it is a blight.
Perhaps, I’m solar powered
I am my best in bright sunshine
But when it gets gray and grayer
I begin to pine.
How do they do it
In the land of the midnight sun?
Is it all imagination
Is this how they have fun?
Perhaps, it is just attitude
There in the latitude and longitude
It mystifies me greatly
I do not mean to be rude
But it is the sunshine I like
Longer days and shorter nights
When the warm sun shines on us
I feel perfectly all right.

March 1999

“INAPROPOS”

Perfect word — the best
While in hospital
A man entered contests
As he lay there undressed.

He was there
Long days and long nights
Having open heart surgery
What a horrendous sight.

His veins were all clogged
Cholesterol reigned
Can you guess what he did
While he was wild with pain?

Sure, what else
You got it right, kid
He won tons of butter, some roast beef
Then you know what he did?

Feeling lucky, of course,
He entered many more
Won a million dollar shopping spree
In an ice cream store.

March 1999

Healthy Eating

Never drink the water
Taste not the wine
Eat prickly pears and turnips
Whenever out to dine.

Do not touch a steak
Leave the butter far away
Just nibble on dry biscuits
Or you may pass away.

Here is the mystery
Of health fads good and true
What’s good for you today
Tomorrow? Bad for you.

I think what I shall eat
Whenever I decide
Is anything that looks real good
I’m gonna put it right inside.

Then if the radio
Tells me it’s not right
Why — no need to worry
It’s already out of sight.

March 1999

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time
In the old country it occurred
That life when I was Irish
Becomes more clearly blurred.

I’m sure the wee people
Lived there in a shamrock field
They cavorted and they played
Nary a secret was revealed.

The sod was turned over
With a spade in one’s hand
We danced an Irish jig
Precisely as was planned.

But that was another life
Another century, another place
Today I am just a lady
Running in the human race.