To a Bigamist

I prefer a married man
Perhaps because I know he can
So I’ve become his biggest fan
I hope multiple marriage is never banned.

Once married, a man is fine
He usually tries to get home by nine
In my mind that’s a real good time
Especially when wives are there waiting in line

Mow a married man
Knows what it takes
To please a woman
For heaven’s sake

If you are married
To a married man
You may rest assured he’ll try
The best that he can

For he must humor all of us
All these ladies in whom he trusts
So usually there is little fuss
A married man —
Good for all of us.

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Did You Jitterbug

When you were young
Did you jitterbug
Could you perform the waltz
Did you cut a rug

Have you ever danced
The Bunny Hop
Did you Boogaloo
Until you dropped

Was there a time
Back in the past
When you just adored
Dancing fast?

How about the dances now
The steps I see today
I’m afraid you’ve lost me for sure
I’m more attuned to Sammy Kaye

June 1999