I believe it’s a sickness
I know not if there’s a cure
When a man can’t keep his hands
Off of her, her and her.
I think it’s an addiction
Like smoking, drinking, cards
Everyone knows quitting
Is just too hard.
I never thought them macho
Those philandering men
Putting the play on each woman
Be she tall, short, fat, thin.
Just let a female
Show up in their sight
They shift into overtime
As they chase through the night.
It is one more habit
They fall into
Often, not even inquiring
“Just who are you?”
But there seems to be a trigger
Some place in their minds
That the sight of a woman
Simply forces them to unwind.
Yesterday is a goner
Tomorrow is coming quick
Today I’ll mind my “P’s” and “Q’s”
So that I may have my pick.
My pick of all the things
Here waiting to be done
Today I’ll do everything
Tomorrow, I’ll have some fun.
Wait a minute, won’t you?
Wait a minute now
Let’s have fun this very day
Make this one daily vow.
For tomorrow becomes yesterday
And yesterday is a goner
Today is the only day
That you and I need honor.
Or to restate
Try to substantiate
Often just berate
To watch them gyrate
Some attempts to moderate
Some seem to want to translate
Sounds more like Mutilate
It will all abate
Wouldn’t that be great?
Ah — the English language
What a marvelous invention
One can allude to goodly deeds
Without harboring any good intentions
Why, one can speak in golden tones
Brag about the good they’ll do
It is only words, you know
There is no follow through
It’s all in how turn a phrase
The spin they put to it
The banker mouths such niceties
But the loan, will he renew it?
The little white lies that each of us use
We say”to keep the peace”
Hang onto your wallets, guys and gals
Dulcet tones precede a fleece.
The Liars Club needs no member drive
They can fill their roster easy
Just listen to the folks down in D.C.
Why, every one of them is cheesy.
Prevarication is a special art
I wonder, is it taught in political school
There may be no formal class
But our reps steer wide of the truth
This seems to be THEIR GOLDEN RULE.
Some scientists went out to sea
To farm in the water, Yessiree
To create sustenance for you and me.
But now they’re stumped
As the water they plows
For they’ve disturbed the flounder
Oh yes, and how!
You see the flounder
Gets sea sick quite easily
If the sea is rough and stuff?
He can feel extra queasily.
A flounder is a bottom fish
He lies there in the deep
So, please, water farmers
Do not disturb a flounder as he sleeps.
A new “GOLD” dollar will be coined
Tn this year of 2000, so I’m told
Of course, there’ll be no ‘gold’ in it
Here is how the story does unfold
If will bigger than the last
The Susan B. Anthony one
The one we all thought was a quarter
After the minting was all done.
No – this dollar will be bigger
And painted with 14K GOLDEN PAINT
A wide smooth edge will make it unique
The joy of it all makes me quite faint.
Sacagawea, fine Indian maiden
Will grace the front of same
If her friends could see her now
Would they be proud or would they
There is a chicken who lives on Fairview
I see her most every day
I worry so about this hen
But what am I to say?
“Please stay away from McDonald’s
Don’t go anywhere near
Don’t you realize the dangers?
Are you really crazy, my dear?”
And I also see her at Burger King
Pecking around everywhere
She has absolutely no fear
She’s one brave chicken, I swear
Well, how can I talk to a chicken
How can I be understood
I guess if she just doesn’t go to Wendy’s
Then maybe she’ll still turn out good.
So if you see a chicken on Fairview
Please go around her with care
She’s only just doing her duty
Giver her some room to spare.