Some Scientists Went Out To Sea

Some scientists went out to sea
To farm in the water, Yessiree
To create sustenance for you and me.

But now they’re stumped
As the water they plows
For they’ve disturbed the flounder
Oh yes, and how!

You see the flounder
Gets sea sick quite easily
If the sea is rough and stuff?
He can feel extra queasily.

A flounder is a bottom fish
He lies there in the deep
So, please, water farmers
Do not disturb a flounder as he sleeps.


Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Soon it will be Christmas
Are you preparing for it yet?
Yard sales and auctions
Such nice bargains one can get.

There was a new teapot for a quarter
A used bike for a wee bit more
And once I found a violin
If only I could play the score

Sometimes you find a collectible
A cup or plate or dish
I was so very stupified
When I once was offered one live fish.

There are slacks and shoes and gloves
Laid out upon the lawns
Upon a side street yesterday
I saw a couple of plaster fawns

But the best view I had of all
When driving around my town
Was a wedding dress a fluttering
A lovely wedding gown.

I inquired what went with it
Imagine my surprise
When the lady selling the thing
Told me clearly — and with dry eyes —

“Why, you can have it all
The dress, the shoes, the veil
I’ll even throw in, for one more buck
The bouquet and the male.

I backed away quite quickly
A groom — not what I sought
Instead I took the teapot
And was glad for what I bought.

New Money

A new “GOLD” dollar will be coined
Tn this year of 2000, so I’m told
Of course, there’ll be no ‘gold’ in it
Here is how the story does unfold

If will bigger than the last
The Susan B. Anthony one
The one we all thought was a quarter
After the minting was all done.

No – this dollar will be bigger
And painted with 14K GOLDEN PAINT
A wide smooth edge will make it unique
The joy of it all makes me quite faint.

Sacagawea, fine Indian maiden
Will grace the front of same
If her friends could see her now
Would they be proud or would they
feel ashamed?


Strange But True

Kay could mend with both hands
For her it was easy as sin
She could sew with her left hand or her rightDepending on where she’d began

In that far off year of ’99 at Christmas
She called Santa Claus on the phone
She called him at his workshop
But finally reached him at his home

“Santa, dear Santa, oh please,
might I have 2 thimbles, that’s all”
Santa made a note of her wish
And politely thanked her for her call

And on Christmas morning so early
As the sun brightened Christmas Day
Kay read the note that Santa left
“Here is what you wanted, but I really have to know
Why 2 Kay?

Yesterday, Again

It’s beginning to look a lot like yesterday
Politics rearing its head
It’s beginning to look like yesterday
Just when I thought the feuds were dead.

But what do I see in the paper
headlines big and bold
Florio quits and Torrey is fired
Like in the days of old.

Just as I thought I’d catch my breath
One more headline roared
“Lowenstein dumped by HDC”
At least we won’t get bored

Who will it be tomorrow
Should one wager a bet
Pushing and shoving, etc., my friends
Is this as good as it gets?

The alphabet agencies do it again
Will progress scream to a halt?
People are human and humans are people
All of us have our faults.

So as long as summer is here
They might as well heat up the floor
So we get blistered in our own back yards
And never need to go to the shore.

“Advances Dismay Me”

I was reading my paper
On 12/27/99
There wasn’t too much bad news
So I was feeling fine.
Until that is, you understand
A story I found there
Filled me with wonder
Filled me with despair.
“A person,” the paper said
in this 12/27/99 edition
“has been found dead”
But the story filled me with suspicion
For the paper’s date — remember?
Was 12/27/99
But the date of the death, I read
Was ahead of us in time.
This person, I was told,
The one who was found dead?
Was found on 12/30/99
That was the day it said.
Three days before the occurrence?
A warning — might this have been?
If I were the one they were discussing
I would’ve left town — right then.


A New Mayor

Hudson, New York has a new Mayor
Seems to be a nice guy
Perhaps he was (or was he) surprised
When the outgoing Mayor tried to be sly?

A midnight appointment of cronies
A midnight madness attempt
For the old Mayor to load the cabinet
viewed with contempt

Well, the new Mayor was wise
In fact, he- for sure- was on his toes
Before many hours had passed
He had dealt with most of those

And we wish him luck, we do
When dealing with the Hudson mass
He will need to have all his ducks in a row
Or they will knock him right on his a__.

We have faith in the new crowd
They need time to prove their worth
So let’s all behave ourselves, if we can
Give crime a very wide berth.

It’s time for Hudson to shine
It has done pretty well for awhile
And now with a brand new Mayor
Maybe we can do it with style.

January 2000