It Pays To Be Honest With Your Agent, Sir

Here is a story

I heard tell at work

Sometimes people take us

For real down home jerks.

“No, no accidents for me”

Said one customer today

As I looked at his history

I said, “No way!”

“Just once I backed up,

Hit someone on the street.”

“Uh huh,” I replied

As he stared at his feet.

“And once upon a time

I crashed into the garage door

“Oh, my!” I replied

As I waited for more.

“But, accidents, no,

Can’t say that I have any”

I groaned to myself,

“What had those 2 been, you ninny”

“And these tickets, here on the motor vehicle report?”

I showed the record, and

Waited for the retort.

“Well, good gracious alive!”

“Is that when they occurred?”

I stare at him now

Can he be this absurd?

“It pays to be honest

With your agent, sir.

For the records are here,

Of that you can be sure.”

“Well, all these things

That are in black & white here

Were caused by the other driver

Let me tell you dear.”

4/21/98 Continue reading

Insurance companies are quite perverse

Insurance companies
Are quite perverse
You’ll see no policy
In lilting verse

What could be so hard
I ask them this
Their every instruction
Starts out with K.I.S.S.

“You must pay the premium
(how true, how true)
“Before we will even
“Talk to you”

You may have coverage
For wind and fire
Unless, of course, the damage
Is just too dire

Notice this phrase
It clearly states
We just don’t care

The important part
Of any protection
Is that you pay the premium
Before sent to collection

Oh, sure, call us
Our machine is on
It’s time to play golf
That is why we are gone

If we decide
On some rare day
To return to the office
Be sure and come down to pay
August 98

The year 2000

The year 2000
Draws rapidly near
But the year just before
Has some folks also in fear

In our profession
Where insurance is written
We now hear that the #’s 9-9-1990
Ain’t really fitten

It seems, we hear
That that # sequence
Is insurance code
For many events

What they are
Do not ask us
Just remember the year
When you hear us fuss

So maybe it’s wiser
While still in our prime
To date everything 2001
Just disregard time
5/12/98

In my business you notice things

In my business
You notice things
Like who buys a house
Or a diamond ring

This month it seems
Car dealers went wild
Seems they’re selling cars
To every child

Big ones and small
New ones and old
Whatever it is
It has been sold

It mush be the weather
It must be the heat
Everyone wants a car
For some sort of treat
5/01.01